it comes back to you
by aheartmadefullmetal16
Summary: It's been years, but Ed still has nightmares. Edwin, set in 1922, seven years after the Promised Day.


_**A/N:** I imagine that the both of them would have extremely rough nights, even long after the Promised Day. What they went through is nothing short of horrific._

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Inspired by this:  image/141408445992 by fennethianell on Tumblr

 _It comes back to you_

 _It comes back to you_

 _All the things that you had lost will find their way to you_

 _It comes back to you_

 _It comes back to you_

 _Looking back into the past and I can see it through_

In a rush and surge of adrenaline Ed sat straight up, a strangled cry expelling from his throat. He gasped for air shakily, his hands gripping the sheets on either side of him in a desperate attempt to ground himself. Rubbing a hand across his face, he was only mildly surprised to find tears running down and dripping off his chin. Ed swore bitterly, running a hand through his hair.

"Ed?" Winry's voice was droopy and drawled as she stirred. "What happened?

"Nothing, Winry," Ed sighed impatiently, slouching back under the sheets. "Just another nightmare. Go back to sleep." Immediately he knew it was no use; Winry wouldn't rest until she knew he was alright. _She worries too much,_ Ed thought irritably. Resigning himself to the barrage of questions he knew was bound to come, Ed sighed again.

"Ed, you know I'm not going to let you off that easily," Winry said, a soft laugh pressing at her voice. "Come on, tell me all about it." Ed heard the sheets shift beside him as his wife propped herself up on an elbow.

Heart rate now receding, Ed relented and turned over. The moonlight from the window illuminated Winry's face, and Ed was struck by how gorgeous she was. _Have I really turned into that much of a softie?_ Ed grumbled mentally, swearing again at his own sentimentality. That month marked seven years since the Promised Day; seven years since he'd nearly lost everything and everyone he loved to the accursed homunculi and their inexplicably reprehensible leader, the creature they had called "Father", the copy of his now dead father, Hohenheim. Seven years since he had nearly lost the woman laying in front of him, who had worry and love etched deep into her face. Of course he never would have admitted his feelings for her then, but he had come to accept them over time.

He raised a hand and ran his fingers gently across her face. "Well…" he started uncertainly. "It was the same one I've been having for a while now." He paused, unsure of how to continue. What was the point in whining to Winry about things that had happened years ago? He knew that everything was all right now, and yet it seemed that his brain couldn't accept the tranquility his life now offered him. "I really shouldn't be dwelling on all this, should I? I mean, it happened so long ago, it shouldn't even matter," said Ed, attempting a smile.

Winry rolled her eyes. "Why are you so _stubborn_? Just tell me what's wrong. It's okay to talk about things, you know."

Ed laughed. "Even when you're mad at me, you're still so beautiful." He earned an exasperated smile from her for that one. "I keep seeing the same thing. It's the Promised Day and instead of being in Central I'm back home in Resembool with you and Pinako. I know what's going to happen and I keep screaming to you to get out of the country and go, but you don't hear me." He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. "Then, there's this red light everywhere, and you fall to the floor. I go to pick you up, but when I do, my hands go right through you. You don't wake up. There's nothing I can do." Ed blinked hard. "And then… you turn into that _thing_ that Al and I brought back all those years ago, only… worse somehow. And I can hear your voice in my head saying 'why won't you wake me up, Edward? Why aren't you helping me?' It's just like the ones I used to have about Mom and-" He cut off abruptly. He cursed again, wiping his face in frustration.

"Shhh, it's okay, Edward, it was just a dream. I understand." Winry's voice was small, soft, comforting. Not at all like her panicked screams from the dream. As she stroked his gold hair away from his face, he met her eyes, which were wide and blue and full of concern and love for her husband.

"I'm sorry I keep burdening you with this," he muttered, his voice tight. His face burned in shame and he looked away, focusing instead on his right hand as it laid on the sheets. It had been years since he'd gotten it back, but sometimes he still felt as though it were still automail, unfeeling and malleable. In his nightmares he always had the metal attached to him; for the nights when the visions felt the most real, the lack of flesh there should've been a clue.

"Ed, you don't need to apologize," Winry said. "When I married you I promised I would bear all your burdens with you. Neither one of us can do this alone. You know that."

"I know, Winry, but sometimes it just feels like too much for me, let alone you…" Ed trailed, anticipating his wife's retort only when it was too late.

"Excuse me?" she accused, eyes blazing. "Don't underestimate me, you little-"

"Who're you calling _little_?" Ed raged momentarily; old habits died hard. "I've been taller than you for seven years now, gearhead!"

"That doesn't mean that I can't handle what you're going through!" Winry replied, her voice fiery.

"I'm not saying that you can't, I just don't want you to have to deal with all… this," Ed finished wildly, gesturing to himself.

"Oh, Edward," Winry sighed. "What did I just tell you a few minutes ago? I wouldn't have agreed to marry you if I didn't think I could handle the nights like this. Look at me," she said, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look in her eyes. "I'm here for you, always."

His face burned again and he dropped his gaze. He didn't want to admit it, but she was right. All their lives he'd underestimated her and how much she could handle; her strength and grace had surprised him when he'd finally let it all out after the Promised Day. She'd been a stalwart, refusing to crack under the weight of his past. Despite his initial reluctance, Ed had been extremely grateful to have someone to share the burden with; he had not wanted to bother Alphonse during his recovery.

To Ed's surprise, Winry laughed, her voice filling their bedroom with ease. "Listen to the both of us, bickering like the children we used to be," she chuckled. Ed couldn't help but smile. He had to admit, even though he had outgrown Winry long ago, they still loved to push each other's buttons. (Literally, in Winry's case- she still lovingly treated Ed's automail leg with all the finesse and expertise as she had when he was smacking it around in his state alchemist days).

"Did I ever tell you how lucky I am to have you?" Ed asked suddenly, surprising even himself with the words that stumbled out of his mouth. Winry's eyes widened, and then softened.

"Well, I believe you just did," Winry replied, scooting closer to him. Ed hummed in happiness and drew her close. The awkwardness of their youth was gone; five years of marriage and two kids later they were completely comfortable with one another. In time, their breaths synchronized, though Winry did not fall asleep.

"Ed?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

Ed considered this for a moment. Finally, "Yeah, Winry, I think I am."

"Good."

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A couple of hours of fitful sleep later found Ed once again bolting upright in bed, tears streaming down his face, his hands grasping for something to hold on to. His wild frenzy alerted his wife, who instantly grabbed him and held him close. Ed went still as her arms closed around him, and he buried his face in her shoulder. Winry could feel the fear beating a wild tattoo in his veins as he sobbed; this time he could not seem to pull himself out of the world of his nightmares. She found herself murmuring in his ear while he held onto her desperately. Her eyes burned but she refused to let the tears fall; she had promised herself long ago that during nights like this she would be strong for him.

"Hush… It was only a dream… it's alright now." His whole body shook as he cried, and try as she might, Winry could not seem to calm him. With sorrow she resolved to just hold him, and press soft circles into his back and shoulders to let him know she was there. She had meant what she'd said on their wedding day- she would be there through the good and the bad, sickness and health, sadness and happiness. She knew her husband always tried to bury the past and run ahead to the future; those aspirations manifested in the tender, goofy way he treated his children and wife.

But for the nights when the past would catch at his heels, she would be there for him, just like always, waiting for him to come back.

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 _ **A/N:** Leave a review! :)_


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